Monday, May 3, 2010

To the Bitter Duggar Haters

I am sorry to my regular readers and followers for the bitter response that anonymous people had to my post about the Duggars!  I say anonymous, as these people had the gall to come on my site, just an ordinary commentary on things going on in my life and family that I would like to share, and swear and bash other people (the Duggars) whom I found inspiring.  If you feel the need to use such harsh words on an innocent bystanders blog, please be sure to leave your name and email, so that others can be sure to respond to your wrath.  It's easy to sit on the outside and judge so harshly another's way of life and convictions, but it sounds to me like "thou protesteth too much!"  If you don't understand that, seems that you are protesting the very thing that you feel most convicted about.

The post has been removed, and I am sorry to those that would have enjoyed reading about my great experience with the Duggars, but after the inappropriate comments made by others on that posting, I was unable to save the post and delete the comments.  I have kept an open door policy on my blog, and allowed all comments to be displayed immediately, never dreaming that some bitter, immature human would need to be moderated!  Unfortunately, from here on out, I will be moderating the comments, to keep inappropriate content out of my blog.  I apologize for any inconvenience this may create, and truly am sorry to my regular followers and readers for this unsavory character on the part of the "Anonymous."


  1. I am so sorry, I apparently missed something (which I am most likely glad I missed!)

  2. I read the original article and the subsequent comments, and I have to ask what on earth you found so "bitter" about those comments.

    "Bitterness" is different than "digust." The comments I read expressed disgust at Papa and Mama Duggars' abandonment of their very sick, very premature daughter in order to, ironically, promote family values. I am not a mother myself but even I cannot fathom leaving my daughter in critical condition in the hospital to go gallivanting across the country.

    "Bitterness" does not enter into it. "Bitterness" would be if I were jealous of their family in some way, or if I hated the Duggar family. I don't hate any of the Duggars; I have no reason to. I do, however, loathe what they are doing in regards to their poor children.

    I do not have an account so I can't log in, but I will sign myself as:

    -- tatortotcassie from TWoP

  3. I like the Duggars but I think they were wrong to leave Josie in the NICU to speak at a conference.

  4. I don't think the Duggars did anything wrong in leaving a child in the hospital while the "go to work" to speak at a conference. Most of us average people would need to continue to run our lives as usual to pay the bills to provide for the rest of our children. We wouldn't have the luxury of being at home with the children the other 5 days out of 7 days in a week. In fact, to pay for the NICU expenses, most of us would have to take on a second or third job, just to make ends meet. It's not like they came to the conference for no pay...this is their bread and butter.

    As to what they are doing to their "poor children" I must have missed something, because it doesn't seem to me that the children are abused in any way, shape or form. In fact, they are given many more opportunities than most kids these days, as they have a Mom & Dad raising them full-time!

  5. I will say that I used to look up to the Duggars, but now I look at them and wonder why their older daughters raise their children from 6 months on up. Their 'Buddy system' is for the older four girls only while the boys do absolutely nothing. As for Josie, well I feel sorry for the little doll to be born into the family she is, where she will get no privacy, and no chance at a peaceful life. I would respect JimBob and Michelle 10x more than I ever did when I first heard of them if they stop having children altogether. Those children may not be physically abused, but That doesn't mean they're not neglected. Imagine how you would feel if your mother handed you away to your older sister as soon as a new baby came along. Like you weren't good enough anymore. That's exactly what Michelle does and it really makes my heart ache for her young children. Here in Pennsylvania those children would have been removed from the home just because of the living arrangements (10 children in a single bedroom), and because there is no way every child is given adequate attention with that many siblings. Michelle and JimBob are out for the money just like Jon & Kate were and Kate is. They didn't NEED a reality show, they could have gotten real jobs, but they're too good for that I guess. :)

    ~Ik_Hou_Van_Jou from TWoP

  6. Another TWoP commenter here- I go by DivaJean.

    If you really and truly believe that the way the Duggars are "raising" their family is commendable, you need more information. I would recommend googling the blog "Razing Ruth"- a grown woman who raised in circumstances similar to the Duggar kids. Its a very different viewpoint from the sugary sweet treacle that we are served up on the television show. This blog shows the undercurrent that is often very cruel to its young women, making them little more than handmaidens to their parents and untitled "parents" to their siblings.

    At the very least, take a look at how deficient the school of the dining room table is and how utterly unprepared these kids will be for any real job in the world. (And don't start in about Josh's car lot- have we ever seen him actually sell anything? Thought not...)

    Again, I am only posting as "anonymous" since I have no account.

  7. I have to say that I think it's questionable that both Jim-Bob and Michelle left their sick baby to speak at a conference. I appreciate that this is a job for them but one of them (Michelle) should have stayed at the hospital with her sick kid. Someone needed to be there in case things went downhill for Josie.

    As for the attacks on the Duggar daughters 'doing all the work' I dare say that there is an extreme rush to judgment over on TWOP. In large families everyone does their share of work around the house. What the older girls do, at least from what we see on tv, isn't that big of a deal.

    I'll agree that the Duggar's grammar isn't very good and their homeschool materials don't appear to be very good. That isn't an indictment of homeschooling (my wife and I homeschool) but rather an indictment of some of the ATI and Vision Forum stuff the Duggar's trust and use.

    I think it's a little silly to attack Josh's car lot based on the, at most 20 minutes, we've seen of the lot on television. The notion that Josh doesn't sell cars because 19 kids and counting hasn't shown a sale is absurd.

    And herein lies the problem with TWOP's attacks on the Duggar's. We see 22 minutes of the Duggar's each week on TLC. To jump to such extreme conclusions based on 22 minutes of heavily edited material each week is absurd. I'll agree there are some questionable things the Duggar's do but to jump to the extreme, negative conclusions that are reached by posters on TWOP is just ridiculous. These guys go from basic attacks on homeschooling to declaring negative motives for every move made by Jim Bob and Michelle. It's just out of control negativity.

  8. I missed the original post and the comments, it sounds like it got out of hand.

    I believe the Duggar parents were wrong to attend the conference in Wisconsin. There's no excuse for what they did, but it's done, and there doesn't seem to be any point on dwelling on this unfortunate event.

  9. One of the parents should have stayed home to be nearby to the hospital, while the other parent went to attend the conference. It would have been a simple and very wise decision. For both parents to leave the state to attend a conference while their preemie had just been re-admitted to NICU for "going backward" healthwise, shows a startling lack of parental responsibility.

    I am not bitter about the Duggars, nor do I hate them. I think they are poor examples of parents and I feel sorry for the children of anyone who imitates their behavior. They are not raising their children, they are making the older girls raise the younger children. Where I come from, that's called abdication of responsibility. I'm just confused as to when that became a Christian value. In my church, it would be quite frowned upon.

  10. Sorry to hear your blog was hi-jacked. Too many times people forget that posting on an open Internet chat forum is not the same as posting on someone's personal blog.

  11. There is no evidence whatsoever that the older girls in the Duggar family are raising the younger children. The fact that they have 'buddies' proves nothing more than the older girls help with the day to day basics of their buddy. It doesn't prove that Jim-Bob and Michelle have abdicated total responsibility for a child to one of their older sisters. Once again, this is a classic TWOP jump to conclusion without a shred of evidence.

  12. What kind of evidence do you need to know that the older girls do take care of the younger children. Just stop and think for one moment there are 19 children and one mother and one father. Do the math how many hours in the day, how many hours devoted to the tv show, conferences etc. When do you feel they have time to parent ?
    I have zero feelings regarding this family but all one person has to do is take one quick peak at the numbers to know that time devoted to family and raising children simply can not be there once you go beyond the normal family numbers you simply have to make adjustments which they have done with the home they have, dressing rooms, laundry area, and various chores, anyones personal vote as to what is right and what is wrong but normal parenting is just not an option when you have 19 to raise. My personal opinion is that somethings are likely right and somethings are likely not that great like all families.
    Likely right each child can play a musical instrument evidently rather well.
    Likely right it seems that all of the children are extremely well mannered well read and extremely responsible.
    Likely not great lack of privacy, possibly low self esteme due to circumastances beyond anyones control just dealing with that many people in a family.
    Likely less carreer choices when they finish schooling.
    Likely right it seems there is always someone there for each one and everyone to lend a helping hand and teach skills to another that need to be learned.
    Likely right 19 kids and they all seem to get along ! How massive is that!
    We all could go on and on but you see the list becomes like most families issues are there if you have one child or 20.


I love to hear what you think! Thanks for your feedback!